Those Phrases from A Dad That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was merely trying to survive for the first year."

One-time Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey thought he would to manage the demands of being a father.

However the truth soon proved to be "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health complications surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her chief support while also caring for their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing each nighttime feed, every change… every stroll. The role of mother and father," Ryan shared.

After eleven months he burnt out. That was when a conversation with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that helped him see he required support.

The simple statement "You are not in a good place. You need support. How can I support you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His situation is far from unique, but rarely discussed. While people is now more accustomed to addressing the pressure on mums and about postpartum depression, not enough is spoken about the struggles fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan feels his challenges are linked to a wider inability to communicate between men, who continue to absorb harmful ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and stays upright with each wave."

"It's not a sign of weakness to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to accept they're struggling.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental health is equally important to the family.

Ryan's chat with his dad provided him with the chance to ask for a respite - going on a short trip overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to gain perspective.

He came to see he required a change to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions in addition to the practical tasks of taking care of a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has reshaped how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he gets older.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of feelings and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something musician Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen lacked stable male a father figure. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "poor choices" when he was younger to modify how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as an escape from the hurt.

"You turn to things that don't help," he notes. "They may short-term modify how you feel, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Advice for Managing as a New Dad

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a family member, your spouse or a counsellor about your state of mind. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - make time for the pursuits that allowed you to feel like yourself before becoming a parent. This might be going for a run, socialising or gaming.
• Pay attention to the body - eating well, physical activity and when you can, sleep, all contribute in how your mind is coping.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their experiences, the challenges, as well as the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that asking for help is not failure - looking after you is the best way you can support your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead offer the security and emotional support he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - managing the emotions safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they acknowledged their issues, changed how they communicate, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their children.

"I have improved at… processing things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I expressed, at times I feel like my role is to instruct and tell you on life, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am understanding just as much as you are through this experience."